Tiscali broadband speed & contention ratio

Just got off the phone from my internet service provider (ISP) Tiscali.

I've been with Tiscali for several years now, had the occassional blip in the service but nothing too irritating. I had been paying nearly £20 per month for only about 1Mbps which by today's standards is pretty attrocious. I've never liked Tiscali's web site, I don't like the layout and although I'm glad that companies take my security seriously I feel that having to enter in my user name and password so many times is a bit frustrating.

Earlier in 2008 I happened to take a look at my ISP's web site and to my disapointment found that they were offering customers a better product for less money, what was disappointing about it was that they hadn't bothered to let me know, they just kept taking my money for a rubbish service.

So, I upgraded my 1Mbps for £19.99 to 8Mbps for approximately £17! Great, or so I thought.

For a short while I noticed the benefit in the upgrade, but it was barely noticable. Then, about 2 months ago things took a dive, at various intervals my connection started slowing down to almost a dial-up pace, then worse, at times some pages wouldn't load or images on pages were missing.

So today, on my day off, I decided to try to do something about the problem, I went on to the Tiscali web site and attempted to send them an email about my problem, typed my message into the form on the web site and clicked to submit it, at which point I was asked for my login details (again) plus something I hadn't seen before, my customer number. Damn, can't proceed without that so I attempted to find my customer number on the web site. Problem though, my internet connection was so bad that I couldn't access the pages I needed to in order to find my customer number, also, Tiscali had never corresponded with me via mail so I couldn't check that either!

This left me with no other choice but to call the dreaded technical support number, at 10p per minute.

I called the number, went through the switchboard system, at one point I was told that there was a problem with the Pimlico exchange, nothing to do with me, not my exchange. Eventually I got through to an chap with what sounded like an Indian accent (probably in an offshore call centre by the sounds of it) who asked me for my telephone number (even though I'd just typed it in as prompted) and full name. I explained the problem, I gave him details of my operating systems, the fact that I had quit all unnecessary applications (including my internet security) and the background, everything that he could possibly need. He apparently checked the line and determined that I should be able to receive around 7.5Mbps out of the 8Mbps which is very good (he got his 'bits' and his 'bytes' mixed up though) and the upstream rate wasn't so good (but it's set that way on purpose). I asked him if it could be the 'contention ratio', he told me that he didn't know and that would be something they'd have to check. He then asked me to try a speed test web site which didn't even load up properly, I attempted to run the speed test in order to check my downstream and upstream rate. It froze. Then I appeared to lose the connection with call centre.

Brilliant. Just spent a few quid on the telephone and I'm no better off plus time lost on my day off.

Eventually I managed to test my connection and was appaulled to see that I was only getting about 2.5Mbps out the 8Mbps. The upstream (which I also use a lot of) was also bad. On the third or forth test my connection speed went down to less than 1Mbps.

I called Tiscali again. A different Indian sounding guy answered, knew that I had called earlier and so we resumed our talk, at 10p per minute.

I gave him my connection speed results, dreadful, he had me try another web site to test the speed, this time one that Tiscali owned, after reading out the address several times I tested my speed, it came out with a nonsensical reading which made it look like I was getting an impossible rate. I could almost hear the man on the other end of the phone scratching his head. He asked me to hold, I agreed, he put me on hold. I noticed the timer ticking away on my phone and started totalling up the call. Depressing. After about 2 or 3 minutes the man came back to me.

The outcome?

I was told that there are too many multiple users online at the moment, I asked him to clarify if that meant that my connection was slow because of the number of people using their service at the time, he confirmed this is the case, so I replied "so it is the contention ration then?", "yes" he replied. Knowing all about this I guessed there was nothing much could be done.

In the end, Tiscali UK Ltd's only solution to my broadband connection problem was not even a solution. They simply suggested I don't use the internet at peak times!

Anton Newcombe - Brian Jonestown Massacre

During 2006 I noticed that there were frequent bulletins published on myspace from "Brian Jonestown Massacre". One of these bulletins caught my eye in particular, the subject read something very similar to "we don't give a shit about arabs… we only care about china" which immediately made me want to know more as I had been frequently involved in opposing racism and other prejudices on the internet and this subject line sounded reminiscent of many internet forum posts I had encountered during that time. The bulletin contained a couple of news articles which appeared to have been copied & pasted from various news sources which weren't made apparent in the bulletin. The articles were concerning characters such as George W. Bush and Condoleeza Rice (which most of this person's bulletins seemed to be about). I tried searching Google for any reference to the subject matter (which looked to me like a quote), no results were returned, I couldn't find any other reference to the quote in the original bulletin either and no indication as to the source of the quote. To add to this there didn't seem to be any comment from or opinions given by the author of the bulletin, which also made me wonder what was going on.

I believe that if someone has something important to say, if they feel strongly about something then they should at least make some effort to engage in the subject themselves instead of simply copying and pasting other people's opinions. So, I decided that I'd engage the bulletin poster myself, try to spark some kind of conversation and find out more. I wrote back to the poster and asked where the quote came from, was it a member of the band or someone else who said it and what did it mean, I was perfectly polite about it and expected that the person who wrote the bulletin would want to talk about their own bulletin. The response I got was disappointedly brief, the person told me "it's in the news" and to look at his myspace profile, which I did.

I worked out that the reference to China was regarding China's recent destruction of one of its own satellites in space using a rocket, OK so fine (well, a few issues there!), but after looking through the news and through the myspace profile I still couldn't find any other reference to the quote, particularly regarding "arabs", maybe I missed something but this wasn't the point. This person had posted a public bulletin but didn't seem to want to actually talk to anyone about it. I started getting the suspicion that this person had simply been trying to get noticed and get people to look at his myspace profile. Then I also realised looking at the profile that the bulletin hadn't come from the band "Brian Jonestown Massacre" but from its founder member, Anton Newcombe.

I replied again to Anton Newcombe. I thanked him for his response but also said that it hadn't really helped and that I was none the wiser regarding the vagueness of his bulletin. To my disappointment, instead of acting rationally and trying to explain or simply not responding, he replied with insults. Anton Newcombe told me "Goodbye Joe, I don't need any more assholes in my life" then "your hair is cool… but you are dumb as dirt" which I thought although yes I can be irritating and argumentative at the best of times, calling me an "asshole" and "dumb as dirt" because I couldn't find a reference to his subject matter anywhere on the internet, was a bit over the top.

In these situations I try not to lower myself to the other person's level, so I spent some time writing a response, saying that the insults are a bit out of order and it would have been nice if we could just have had a civilised conversation about something we both appeared to feel strongly about. I hit the send button and to my surprise received the message that this Anton had actually blocked me from replying to him.

By now my opinion of Anton Newcombe had lowered considerably, here is a man that sends around bulletins with dubious subject matters containing other peoples' words about things which he is supposedly passionate about yet he refuses to engage in a conversation about those things and give his own personal opinion. Here is a man that when someone tries to engage with him and find out what his opinion is, he insults you then runs away and hides. Maybe Anton is simply unable to give his opinion, maybe he doesn't have one, if this is the case it makes me wonder who really is "dumb as dirt" and it makes me wonder why he sends around such bulletins in the first place.

In my opinion, based on this brief encounter, Anton Newcombe is a political coward who doesn't have the courage of his own convictions and seems more concerned with other people's image and himself than talking to other people about those things he tries to appear interested in.

OK, so why do I use the quote?

Primarily I have quoted Anton because he insulted me and then didn't allow me to respond to those insults. Secondly I like to use people's own words and actions to demonstrate what they are really like. I usually remember things that people say to me, even sometimes trivial things, so if you are going to have a pop at me don't be surprised if something you've said previously pops up and bites you on the arse (that's "ass" to you Anton.)

Glastonbury Festival

I returned home yesterday at 7.30am from 5 days of camping, music and general strangeness all of which took place on a vast, wet & very muddy farm in Pilton, Somerset. I was of course at Glastonbury Festival of Performing Arts, along with approximately 177,000 other people.

This was my fourth trip to Glastonbury, the first time I went was in 1993, a friend by the name of Charlotte Milne invited me to hitchhike with her to the festival, which we did there and back, I went with £15 in my pocket, no tent and 1 set of clothes. In order to get in we had to jump over the fence as we couldn't afford the ticket, like many people in those days. The place to jump over was in the corner of the Green Fields camping area. Shortly after we had jumped over my £15 was no longer and I was already feeling the festival spirit. 1993 was a blazing hot year for Glastonbury, the taps were uphill and kept failing, someone fell into one of those cesspits and there were huge queues for water. Because I had no money I ended up having to beg for food or get some free food from the Hari Krisha tent.

The second time I went to Glastonbury was in 1995 when another friend called Sarah Hosegood told me she was going to the festival with some London friends and they had a space in the car so would I like to go. Again, the four of us jumped over the fence in the same spot I had jumped over in 1993 and like 1993 the 1995 festival weather was also very hot, fiece heat, with very little rain if any at all.

In 2005, ten years after I had last gone, I went to Glastonbury festival again. This time I went with my girlfriend Katie and we paid over £100 each for the tickets. We got there by coach on the Wednesday afternoon and found a good space to pitch the tent, halfway up Pennard's Hill against the hedgerow. The weather was good when we got there and there was already lots of people and things starting to happen. In the early hours of Friday morning a storm began, for 6 hours it raged around and around the festival site, hitting hard, going away again then returning to hit hard again. Fortunately the place where we had pitched the tent had good drainage and the tent itself held up well. When we finally emerged from the tent after the storm we couldn't believe our eyes, there was a river of muddy water running across the campsite diagonally from top to bottom, everywhere was mud, tents were floating around, the chemical toilets at the bottom of Pennard's Hill had collapsed and upturned in the mud, there was even someone paddling around in a canoe. We followed a line of people out of the campsite and surveyed more of the flooding. Already most of the festival site was covered in either a thick layer of slippery mud or water, people were slipping and sliding everywhere. We hadn't brought any wellies with us so we had to use plastic bags to stop our feet from getting wet. Regardless of the mud it was an excellent festival, watching The Kills in the John Peel Stage and many other bands. In a way the mud added to the festival atmosphere, it didn't continue raining too much either and the sun came out which made it more bearable.

This year I attended Glastonbury Festival again for the fourth time. Again with Katie, this time the tickets cost £150 each and we'd had to get photos done for the tickets. I had managed to get some of the last combined coach and festival tickets online after trying for about 2 hours. We were due to get the coach at 6pm on the Wednesday, the festival doors opened at 9am, which worried me about getting a decent space to camp. This time I had persuaded Katie into us buying a new 4 man tent which had a separate bedroom with another area which you could stand in. There was a very large amount of people at Gloucester Green bus station in Oxford, to make things worse the coaches were due to pick us all up outside the station. The coaches arrived about an hour and a half late causing chaos on George Street and confusion amongst the passengers. We arrived at the new Glastonbury Festival bus station, located inside the perimeter fence, at around 10.30pm. Checking in was fairly swift but it was already dark and we still had to find a place to pitch. We headed directly to where we had pitched our tent two years earlier only to find it now had a road over it, even worse there seemed to be nowhere to camp at all, so I left Katie with the bags and ran around the campsite looking for a spot to camp. Eventually I found what appeared to be quite a clear spot around the back of a Chinese food outlet at the bottom of Pennard's Hill close to the old railway track near the Other Stage. As we were putting the tent up a woman came out and informed us that the reason why the area was clear of tents was because it was needed to vehicle access! For a moment we had a feeling of dread that we would have to pack everything up again and camp somewhere really bad, fortunately we managed to squeeze the tent in nearby next to some other tents. It took ages to put up in the dark.

As soon as the tent was up we went for a wander around the site, get a feel for it again. We were surprised to find that very little had changed but there was an additional area next to Pennard's Hill called "The Park" which contained a tower and about 3 smaller stages. Lost Vagueness with the Chapel where it was before, eeverything was immediately familiar to me.

The next day, Thursday was quite a nice day to begin with weatherwise, there were already some bands on at The Leftfield which was good. Later on Thursday it began to rain. Friday morning we awoke and emerged from the tent to find that yet again the site was covered in mud. This time we had come prepared with wellies and waterproofs. So, back to the routine of shuffling slowly through the mud with a large crowd of people. Unfortunately, although there were sunny hot spells, the band of blanketing black cloud was not going away and the rain was quite relentless.

Acts we watched in 2007:

The Stooges
The Who
Patrick Wolf
Spiritualized
Bat For Lashes
Björk
Editors
The Go! Team
Manic Street Preachers
The Marley Brothers
The Guillemots
The View
The Men They Couldn't Hang
The Waterboys
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.

Live sets can be seen from the BBC Glastonbury page here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/glastonbury/2007/watchandlisten/